The first gift I received this morning was a hangover, followed by many other gifts that were more desirable. After the initial present opening event and breakfast, I was able to go home, smoke a little somethin-somethin and take a nap, which fixed my head. Then, cleaned & polished, I picked Bill up and we went to my Brother's house for christmas dinner. I love warm evenings spent with family, friends and (too much) good food... It was qualitah.
It's hard to think that I won't be living here in t minus 4 days. I kind of miss it already, even though I didn't particularly like living here. I am so different than I was when I moved in... I feel attached. So many memories, so many things shared. I guess part of my wistfulness comes from the fact that any (concrete, physical) things Nikki & I shared will be removed from my life after I move.
I'm anxious because I think my life will be quite tumultuous for the next year, at least. I'm seriously considering taking a sabbatical from/quitting my job this summer and spending it in italy or costa rica... somewhere. Something else. Repeat after me 'I am not a capitalist drone, I have a soul.'. Rinse thoroughly. Everyday more and more things about 'everyday life' dissatisfy me. I owe it to myself to.. experience. I often think I'm 'different', more deserving, or special than most people, then I realize it doesn't matter because the most worthy human is still a human. What do I think I will find away from my home country? Perspective, love, culture? Lately I've been romanticising about settling down, starting a family. Why? Is it instinct? Too many questions on this tired night. Time to think.